Well, hopefully I don't cry today, but looking back on the past year crying seems to always be a possibility. I know, it's been a long time since I updated this blog. I'm still here, tweeting mostly. No excuses this time, it really is a motivation thing. Today I'm 32. I feel older every year, not just older, but tired and worn down. I know I'm not really old, but the back pain tells me something different. The back pain really is the only thing I can count on every year for my birthday anyway. This isn't meant to be a sad post (more matter of fact really), but it's been a turbulent year and I figure there's no reason to pretend like it hasn't been. I suppose if things had been happier this past year then there would've been more blogging and less tears.
I'm not the kind of person that really cares for these retrospective sorts of moments though. I get nostalgic sometimes, but I've always felt that what happens happens. It's a survival mechanism. You can't change the past. This year has been good and bad in many different doses. If there's one thing I should be grateful for is the blank canvas I have in front of me. It is weird getting to this point in life where you finally know what you want, but then not sure if you'll ever get it. There's a reason why I never make plans, they never work out that way.
When I last left this blog I was actually moving from Ann Arbor to Detroit. I spent an entire six months in Detroit and didn't blog once. I somehow fell in love with a city that people love to hate. I miss it there, but not enough to move back. I love the people, I love the Bronx (best burgers), and I love Motor City Brewing (best beer and pizza). Detroit taught me an important lesson though, and that is that things aren't always what they seem on the surface (sounds really cliché, huh? Well, it's true).
I didn't know what I would think of Detroit when I moved there, I moved there because it was close to one job and rent was cheap. I never expected to enjoy living there, but that's what happened. I tell people I'm from Detroit, though I'm really from Toledo, I'm proud of being from both places. I'm also happy to have lived in Ann Arbor for so long. I've met some incredible people along the way there, and the journey only continues.
I'm in Birmingham, in the United Kingdom now. I love the UK too. Birmingham is a wonderful city, and not unlike Detroit, people tend to think otherwise. There's some subtle similarities between the two cities (meant in a good way actually), but there's definitely some differences. The biggest difference is that Birmingham is not as desolate as Detroit. Detroit has pockets life here and there, but Birmingham has a thriving city center and an amazing amount of shopping crammed into a small space. I like being here because I can walk anywhere and shop for just about anything.
I think Birmingham is what Detroit could be, maybe someday in my lifetime. Birmingham, was the original center of industry, while Detroit clings to its automotive roots. Where Birmingham gets it right is that it keeps rebuilding itself into something new. I would love to see good things for Detroit too. There's a heart and soul to Detroit that you can't detect from the bleak news that comes out of it. It's difficult to explain but I'm sad to leave but glad I did. I know it doesn't help Detroit to flee, but life is difficult enough as it is on its own.
I've wanted to be in a city for a long time. I don't miss my car. I don't even miss my things (currently packed away in a garage in Toledo). To be honest I don't miss much about the US. Things are just different. Not better, not worse, just different. I enjoy wandering the city (except for Saturday, there's way too many people here on Saturday). About every other day I go out for a walk around now familiar Birmingham roads and shopping centers. I like to go to the markets at the Bull Ring, and especially into the meat markets inside. I like the activity and the bustle and the cheap stuff. I like walking around and listening to podcasts on my iPod (I'm finally catching up). I'm getting used to traffic coming at me from the wrong direction at insane speeds. I spend some time shopping in the grocery stores. It's a little like an anthropological exercise for me. Grocery shopping is different here and I prefer it. Because I'm walking everywhere I don't do all of my shopping all at once. Things seem fresher. Notably, vegetables are cheaper. For anything considered "healthier" in the US expect to pay way more money for it. The reason why obesity is a problem in the US is because it's cheaper. I enjoy being able to cook again too so it's nice to find fresh food a short walk away.
I will try to blog and write more. I can't get online as much I want yet, but writing can be done offline. It helps sort through the things in my head, which is pretty scary at the moment.
I don't know what's in store for the next year. I would like to say more blogging and less tears. I would like to say a lot of things for certain, but I can't. Well, that is except for more back pain. Another year done, and another new chapter to write. So, Happy Birthday to me... knowing that birthday wishes do not always come true, but we do what we can.
